It all looks the same

Reflections of reality
What's going on
Where is this
Who.. Who am I

(Who is that guy?)

Snapshots
Moments
Walking on
Some days
Moving slowly
Others
Fly by quickly
Walking
Standing
Running
Crawling

It all looks the same

Nothing's changed

(Do you see that guy?)

Underfoot
Right there
Same
Grass
Grass
Dirt
Some leaves
Some rocks
Same
Some sand
Dirt
Grass
More grass
Same
Same every time
Over and over
Each step
Scrapes
Scars
Struggle
Same
Silence for a tourniquet
It all looks the same

Step
You worked
Step
You loved
Step
You laughed
Step
You lost
Step
You tried
Step
You broke
Step
You gave
Step
Step
Step by step
You kept going
Yet each time
Below your feet
It all looks the same

Nothing's changed

Do you see?
(Did you see him?)
Do you see?
(Did you see how far he's made it?)
Do you see?
(Do you see the distance covered?)
Do you see?
(Do you see what he's become?)
Do you see?

Do you see?

Looking at each step.
Looking down.
Don't see anything.

Perspective.

Pick your head up.

See it.

Keep going

Wake up

Your heart is free now..
Have the courage to follow it.

What Have I Become

Quit tastes delicious in the beginning.

Beginning, after the start.
After the first step was committed to.
After the first beat of the heart.

Quit is a cocktail dress staring across the room.
Quit is a toast from the dark eyed stranger.
Quit says: "We need to catch up."
Quit says "Don't leave me so soon."

Quit asks to fill in your name tag.
Hello, my name is ______
Quit inserts itself here.
Here, and in what you hear.

Nine months ago I was zipped open.
Nine months ago my life faced it's biggest test.
Nine months ago Quit reached out to say hi.
Nine months ago they sawed open my chest.

Quit bought out the billboards.
Quit plastered up noise mixed with fear.
Quit offered appetizers of questions.
Quit offered to be there.
Quit was always willing to lend an ear.

Nine months ago I was zipped open.
Nine months ago I faced life's test.
Nine months ago I dug into hope.
Nine months ago I woke up living hashtag blessed.

Quit visited with opinions
As I lay in that hospital bed.
Quit visited after hours
Quit would replay the notes of what everyone said.

Quit would ride shotgun.
Quit would see how I behaved.
Quit wrote with lipstick on my mirror.
Quit used all the one-liners it had saved.

Nine months ago I was carved open.
Nine months ago I almost died.
Nine months ago.. my weakest..
Nine months ago.
Nine months ago.
What am I made of?
What have I become?
Who am I.. inside.

With those questions came whispers
Answers. Vivid. Difficult but worth it.
Beautiful in their struggle contained.
Crystal clear.
Hope flowed from my foundation.
Quit only had a cheap plastic veneer.

Hope repaired and restored.
Hope renewed and reassured.
Quit only kept repeating itself.
Broken record.
Quit only repeated itself.
Quit ... it's only a word.

What have I become
Is now "What will I be?"
With hope I'll keep going.

Stay tuned.. we shall see.

Genevieve

He scribbled it onto the back of the bill:

Thank you for asking me if I was ok.
I wasn't.

(I wasn't.)
(I wasn't.)

Your question reminded me that it will be.

October played quietly on the speaker.
The coffee poured quietly into the cup.
He dried his eyes.

It wasn't..

It will be.